Bachelor 22.01 Recap – Sparkly Dresses, Fake Boobs

Just in case you thought I was joking when I posted this on my Facebook page:

I wasn’t. Not so much live tweeting, though, but here are my thoughts on the premiere of Arie Luyhreyrndyk’s season of The Bachelor:

Arie is a smooth dude. Compared to Ben Higgins’ Aww-shucks good looks and Nick Viall’s mumbly charm, Arie looks like he knows how to talk to the ladies. He’s quick on his feet and knows the right things to say at the right moment. No mystery these contestants are all swooning right away.

The premiere episodes are always a flood of sparkly dresses, lip gloss, and fake boobs. Many of the ladies trying to get all cute with their intros, like driving up in a Mustang, or giving him a tiny plastic penis (uhh wut?), or making poor Arie sniff an armpit. Srsly.

Because of the overwhelming number of ladies, I can’t break it all down. But I will point out a few of these women who made an impression on me (images via abc):

 

Brittany T

 

The Sassinator. Without a doubt, the funnest one of the bunch. She’s got the best and most witty confessional scenes; the one to point out how insane the whole thing is. The wife and I hope she sticks around for a while.

 

Chelsea

The Tornado. She’s this season’s I’m not here to make friends contestant. The rabble-rouser, the knows what she wants and will raise hell to get it. Every season has one. The drama started early when she double-dipped by talking to Arie twice. Made me wonder what they told Arie about the rules for that evening. It wasn’t as if he said, “no, you already had a turn.” And, he gave her the first impression rose, obviously. Shocker to all the other ladies. Plenty of shots of her being all bitchy, and of course, Arie knows nothing about it. The editing on this show is very creative.

 

Kendall

The Wacky One. The ukele-playing taxidermy fan. Like the chick last year who made her entrance in the shark costume, she’s the comic relief. Arie will keep her around for a while because she’s fun, but she’ll get cut when the game gets serious, at around six left.

 

Krystal

 

The Earth Child. Sweet Jesus, this woman got on my nerves instantly. Raspy-voiced online personal trainer who can feel the painful vibrations of the earth’s energy and probably cries at Verizon commercials. I can’t help but roll my eyes every time she opens her mouth, but she’ll probably stick around for a while, too. Because she and Chelsea will be at each other’s throats within twelve hours in that house together. You know it’s true. And, it will be delicious.

 

Tia

The Pot Luck. The redneck girl next door hottie who likes to shoot guns and ride ATVs (probably). She’s this season’s Raven, the doe-eyed hottie who will make it to the final four but won’t be the one. Still, it’s hard not to root for the innocence and charm of that southern accent.

let the games begin.


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2018-01-09T11:36:36+00:00 January 2nd, 2018|Review|